After almost a month, I am back to discuss a topic which has not only interested me but also increased the curiosity of millions. Rather, let me try to put it this way, It is not only God which knows how to deal with Women. Yes, today’s topic is intriguing and fun to understand, much relatable than the previous posts. I am going to illustrate some facts which sound so simple and they exist in our everyday lives in tiny bits, however, they go unnoticed by our consciousness.
“Why Men and Women never understand each other completely and how understanding each other can eliminate or reduce the stress to the maximum.”
Why should you read ahead? I think, we deal with the other Gender for the majority of our life, it would serve as an eye opener and create accord in relationships, friendships at school, colleges, offices, homes.
Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus.
Many debates have arisen in past regarding the changing roles of Women in today’s modern era. Things which we avoid in considering how Men are wired differently from Women is what increases our expectations and desires from each other.
Yes, Women are concentrating on their professional needs, and making career than past times. We often try to match our expectations as what our parents did for each other. Men are looking for impractical search in Women to be like their sensitive, caring Mother and Women want a protective Men like their Father. The roles have changed dramatically but the expectations from other sex have increased over time.
Let us look at some interesting facts backed by Biology of our Brain and Hormones.
1) During our ancestral times, Men went hunting and were the sole provider of the family. Whereas Women, stayed home nurturing children, bonding with other women to share and survive when their Husband went Hunting. This explains why Women have the edge in Verbal ability over Men. They love to talk and share. On the other hand, Men have greater analytical skills and they see every situation as a task.
2) A Woman’s brain is wired to Think, feel, listen, speak, plan at the same time. Men’s brain is simpler and they don’t have the ability to multitask. They can only focus with utmost sincerity over one thing at a time. Try relating it to your experiences. What happens when a task is given at work? We search for the problem and find out the solution. Either we can speak, think, feel, plan, or listen at one time.
This is very evident in our daily conversations with women. Men see communication as a purpose, and women communicate to bond. Women don’t want the solutions unless asked. They are looking for someone to just listen to them. So that, they can reduce their stress hormone, Cortisol.
3) Because of the ability to multitask, a Women’s to do list is endless. When she gets back home, she gets stressed over household chores if her partner is not supportive of her needs to listen and contribute.
The catch here is that Women should know, helping domestically doesn’t come naturally to Men. For what seems a problem to her is not the priority for Men. Men are always prioritizing their tasks. Explains, why women develop OCD’s related with cleanliness and looking good whereas for Men that doesn’t come consciously unless talked or asked about.
The solution to this is simple. When a Women needs anything, she needs to ask for help. Her words can please the Men when given a task with a request. During ancient times, when Men came back from Hunting, they were stressed from the work, and to rejuvenate their energy they preferred to relax and go back to cage instead of talking with anyone. At Venus, this is the antithesis, Women love to talk, and they expect their Men to talk once they come back home. For her, it is a way to minimize her stress. Listen to her, it would solve all the problems.
4) Men is born with higher Visual cortex than Women. Staring comes naturally to them. And a Woman should know when a Man is staring others it is healthy for his brain. Even when he is with her. She can obviously express her concern and he will try to not embarrass her in public.
A Man finds women attractive by looks because of his higher visual abilities but a Woman prefers safety over a long term, Muscular Men build a good first impression but that’s not what going to build her affection, caring needs of maintaining high levels of Oxytocin (feel good hormone).
Hormones play oppositely:
Cortisol, Testosterone, Oxytocin.
Cortisol is the stress hormone.
1) Fight/Flight rush to Men during any danger or challenging activities increases his heartbeat, testosterone and makes him aggressive, defensive and acting to survive or run away. Whereas in women, testosterone is very less compared to Men which doesn’t make them as aggressive as Men. They are calmer of the two. It is best to avoid talking for some mins or take a pause while becoming angry.
“Words once spoken can never be taken back.” “It takes years to build relations, a second to break them.”
2) Men love to please women. That is how things work at Mars. Their testosterone levels boost high when they feel accomplished in doing so. When Women appreciates his efforts, his task is accomplished and he feels satisfied in his priority. It gives him confidence and lifts him up to do more and more. Whereas too much testosterone doesn’t help Women reducing her stress.
3)Men have nearly 20 times high testosterone than Women. In these times, when women work at the office, they are experiencing a rise in their testosterone level. Testosterone is produced high when a person has confidence in his abilities over the tasks assigned to them. Their completion, accomplishment is a feel good factor for Men and reduces their stress. But, for a women victory doesn’t matter as much as the bond for cooperation, working in teams, so it doesn’t reduce her stress. This is the factor, which is noteworthy why Women are stressed when they come back home in this generation. This hormone doesn’t releases her stress.
4) Cuddle Hormone:- Oxytocin is present in equal quantities for both the gender. It is the feel good hormone for women, when she shares, talks, she is bonding and the levels of oxytocin increases in her body and reduces Cortisol (stress hormone). It can be inferred why Women have high verbal abilities to express her emotions. So when a Women comes back from work, she is just looking to share her to do list, she is stressed by increasing her testosterone from work but by talking, asking for help she is increasing her Oxytocin. Understanding Women is not difficult when we consider these biological differences.
5) It is very important for Women to not depend on Men for her Oxytocin levels to make her feel happy. Because when she is in stress even Men complimenting her cannot reduce her stress. She would acknowledge and appreciate but only her ability to bond with people, and giving herself a leisure time will help her. Examples: Spa session, playing with kids, helping others, teamwork, girls night out, talking, sharing, etc.
When she is happy herself by increasing her Oxytocin producing activities, she would be on cloud nine when Men compliments her, is being sensitive to her. This will fetch you points. Women love tiny affection over a period of time. Instead of big gestures. Big gestures will fetch you similar points. For her, important is to be caring in simple terms, and not go on a vacation alone with big gestures.
6) Women do not look for sensitive Men, they just want someone who is sensitive and caring to their needs. When a Men displays his emotional side unless he has gained her trust and talked to her about her first, it creates a maternal affection in Women. It reduces his testosterone and creates a negative effect. Women love to be asked specific questions about themselves over a period of time. It makes them think, which is a feel good factor for them. Question can be as short and effective as asking “How was your marketing meeting, How was your day at work”. Asking How are you, and how was your day is something, you can expect other people to do in her life as well.
7) Independent, working Women who claim they do not need Men in their lives is just a myth because their testosterone levels are high. And it is an eye opener fact, their stress will not be reduced by working more but by engaging in Oxytocin producing activities. I was flabbergasted when I read Why Mars and Venus Collide by John Gray, Sex and Orgasms create the highest Oxytocin production which leads to feeling good factor for women, whereas men love to go in leave me alone, sleep zone as his testosterone peak has levelled with Oxytocin.
Understanding each other the way Mars and Venus are programmed and born can create a huge difference in your life while dealing with the other gender. It is how we reduce each other’s stress not how we want each other to become like our gender which will make you succeed in your relationships, bond, and friendships.
“Men and Women are just born different, that’s how they compliment each other perfectly.”
Hope you liked this information. Please like, comment your views, share and help each other 🙂